This entry was posted by the family of Daniel Haddad
On March 15th 2011, Danny flew to New York with his brother to seek treatment at North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset. The rest of the family followed the next day. Danny had received special permission to be discharged from MD Anderson around 5AM to catch his flight. That morning, there was a renewed sense of excitement in his voice, renewed hope. He even had his favorite Shipley’s donuts for breakfast!
The 27 days to come turned out to be Danny’s most difficult days. Constant pain, suffering and sleeplessness plagued him. Each day, he had little or nothing good to look forward to but Danny remained thankful and hopeful in the Lord. He did get to spend some good key moments with visiting friends and family. He also had one last skype session with Matt Chandler, one of his favorite pastors from the Village Church in Dallas, TX: Matt Chandler talks about Danny.
Danny was only 26 years old when he passed to glory but in the end, his desire came true:
“My only desire is to stand firm in the faith, at all costs. Nothing else matters in this world — as we are here for only a flash of a second, considering eternity’s everlasting time frame. If we are to follow Jesus, it will require great sacrifice and commitment — The Journey isn’t an easy one, but the reward is indescribable.
Very often, I imagine the moment I will meet the Lord face to face, hoping that He will tap me on the back and tell me: “Son, good job, you fought the good fight, and you ran the race marked out for you.”
I hope that this is your desire, too.”
Daniel Haddad – September 28, 1984 to April 12 2011.
Always engraved in our hearts and deeply missed habibi!
Our treasure and our hero!
On behalf of Daniel, the family would like to send special thanks and gratitude to all the dear family, friends and acquaintances who have shown us love and have supported us and lifted us up in prayer when we were in deep need for it through this extraordinary journey.
From October 19th, 2010 to November 30th, they gave me a new treatment to try, called Irinotecan, or CPT-11. This Chemo seemed easier at first, as it was daily for 10 days, with a weekend break in between each 5-Day week. The daily dose was only 2 hours, in comparison to the 6-Day non stop Chemo infusion I had done before.
The first cycle was easier than the second. By the time the second cycle came around, it was very draining, tiring and heavy on my shoulders to go to MD Anderson every day for Chemo. But I pressed on, and kept remembering the Lord’s mercies and His beautiful and most touching hand on my life.
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”
I was very sad to know I might lose my hair, which I worked hard on growing ;)
Another side effect from this Chemo is extreme diarrhea, to the point of dehydration, leading the patient to get admitted to the hospital to get fluids infused in the body (to save one’s life) — kind of like Cholera. I kept asking around to know when these side effects would take place, and everyone confirmed that they usually begin on Day 8-9.
As those days came by, I remember vividly sitting on the toilet seat and feeling relieved from stress and thanking the Lord that I did not get diarrhea at that moment, every single time! And as the days went by, this was routine for me: to praise God’s name in the toilet as well!
Nurses told me stories about how patients would run from the bed to the restroom every couple minutes and how the patient was living an usual kind of life — near a clean restroom!
Jesus Christ was taking care of me once again, as I did not lose my hair by the end of the 2nd cycle, and I didn’t get any diarrhea symptoms over the course of the 45 days (2 Cycles)! It was a miracle from above!! He really helped me get by some tough and unneeded side effects.
On October 17th, 2010, a childhood friend from Lebanon was supposed to visit me at the hospital. He lives in San Antonio and was driving from there to see me for the day. I was surprised he decided to leave work on a Wednesday to do this, but I was pleased that I would see him anyways. Around the time he was supposed to arrive, my other friend from France pops in my room and surprises me!!! I was speechless the first couple of seconds as my mind wasn’t able to process what was going on!
He came to visit me from France for 4 hours, and then was ready to catch a flight that same night! My San Antonio friend helped make the surprise happen (by picking up the friend from the airport and dropping him off etc…). They really surprised me in the hospital room! It was a surprise I will never forget, and one of the best ones I’ve ever had too!! Thank you guys so much!!
After I finished my Chemo for that day, we were fortunate enough to meet with another dear friend and have dinner before heading to the airport and dropping off the friend from France! The 4 of us were classmates about 13 years ago, and were reunited in Houston, TX! Those were good times…
For those of you who live in Houston: we had Dimassi’s that night for dinner! lol, anyhow…the whole Chemo day turned out to be a blast, and I savored every moment, as our few moments spent together were rare and maybe the last — not to be pessimistic, but who knows when we’ll be reunited again? This is life, anything can happen to anyone at any time….and even if we’re all good and healthy; our schedules halfway across the globe might not work out again like this…
As usual, I am to do a PET Scan and a CT Scan after every 2 Cycles of Chemo…We weren’t very hopeful about this Chemo, as everytime I would stop the cycle and take my one week break, incredible and hard-to-describe pains would reign over my body. I was paralyzed a few times and couldn’t move my arms and had a tough time standing on my left leg, as it was very weak. I felt all my bones were failing on me, and extreme pains would hit me as soon as I made any movement that wasn’t fitting.
The Lord is amazing though, as He gave me a verse that completely fit my physical status during this painful time:
Hebrews 12:11-13
“Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. “
My left knee and my arm were hurting, so this verse was perfect; also a perfect reminder that all this trial, this journey is simply a boot camp for me to come out a different person that yields fruit, as the verse says..
I started getting afraid to stand up, because my left leg would cause so much pain that it would drop me back to the floor or to my bed. I was simply aching all over….It was a nightmare. Pain beyond belief….The most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life…But those were all signs that the Chemo didn’t work. We didn’t expect much, and I told my mother before meeting with my doctor “Mom, I’m expecting my body to have 10-15 tumors by now; but please don’t worry! It is not over, and Christ is still in control of my life and of everything! It is part of His plan….” I wanted her to be prepared before our meeting…
And indeed, that’s what happened… We were living a dream during our doctor visit as he showed us the dark spots on the scan….they were so numerous, and all over my body! It was a scary sight. I had one on my neck, one on each shoulder, about 4-5 on my spinal cord, and 3 in my pelvis…I had to keep it together during the meeting, trusting the Lord and keeping my eyes focused on Him always…This is all a spiritual warfare after all! But I shall not let go that easily, nor will I believe any of the devil’s lies…God is good, and I love Him regardless of all! I thank Him for all He has done in my life!
Our chances of anything working was dwindling away. Our doctor had ONE more Chemo for me to try before giving up on my case. My tumor cells had become very resistant to Chemo, and chances of the new Chemo working were also slim….but we were going to go for it, as we had nothing to lose, and nothing else to do.
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I am reminded by a story that a dear friend sent to me a few months ago from Mark Chapter 5.
It tells the story of the synagogue ruler who went to Jesus, urgently seeking Him to come along to his house and heal his dying daughter. Jesus agreed to go with the man to his house so he could heal his sick daughter. On the way, Jesus was interrupted and delayed by His encounter with a hemorrhaging woman who touched His robe. He stopped for His chat with her. I never noticed before that this woman’s story was an interruption to the synagogue leader’s story. By the time Jesus was done with that woman, news came that it was too late for the daughter because she had died while Jesus took time for the bleeding woman. When Jesus heard the BAD NEWS, He immediately said to the father, “DON’T BE AFRAID, ONLY BELIEVE”.
God bless you all!!
As my surgeon, Dr. Lewis shared with us that my cancer had spread to the left side of my pelvis and to my Sacrum, she shared with us that she was pretty concerned about my left arm. I had told her how my left arm was hurting so much, and a few days came to pass where I could not even move my arm due to pain. She immediately scheduled me for an X-Ray and a Bone Scan. Here is a picture of the machine used:
Her worry and extreme concern raised a flag in my head that night. I was scheduled for the Bone Scan the next morning, Thursday, October 14, 2010.
Walking through the Sarcoma floor on a regular basis, it is not uncommon for me to see 1 (one) out of 3 or 4 patients with limbs missing, whether arms or legs. I have been seeing this for the last 9 months… It is very discomforting and saddening, and I always ask myself how the patients are able to overcome this mountain of a problem…In my mind, this disaster never added up. Sarcoma is notoriously known to be the Cancer that leads to the most limbs being cut off. As a matter of fact, my first MD Anderson Bone Sarcoma Cancer patient friend, a 28-year old, lost his leg last year and is on a prosthetic one. I never had the courage to ask him how life has been since this incident, or what his thoughts are towards this. Not much can be said to cheer up a person with a missing arm or leg.
That night, before sleeping, my mother and sister knelt next to my bed and we started praying. I remember I was anxious for the prayer to be over so that I can burst out in tears, privately. I was very worried. I told the Lord: “God, I need my left arm to lead worship in Church, to open a Bible, to hold my son/daughter…Please, Oh God, have mercy on me.” It was very intense, my pleas were very real and the impact it had on me lingers to this day… but through my mom and sister’s prayers and through mine, the Lord gave me peace a few minutes later. It was beautiful….I was able to sleep with a smile on my face, trusting that my arm was clear of tumors! This feeling and this peace, I cannot describe, but it is the one Paul describes in
Philippians 4:7
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
On October 12, 2010, the day I did my PET and CT Scans, I was also very worried and anxious about the results. We had been readying ourselves for the big surgery for months…. and having complications in the scans meant a cancelled surgery, a lower prognosis and just a worse situation overall.
As I waiting in the “Waiting Room” to get called for my CT Scan, I read through the whole book of Ecclesiastes — all 12 Chapters. I didn’t read through the chapters with haste either, but rather was simply planning to focus on the chapter at hand. The wait turned out to be so long that I ended up finishing all 12 chapters. My hunger for reading had gone. I was feeling refreshed in the Lord and many verses spoke loudly to me. It was perfect!
While thinking about the scans and their results, I kept telling the Lord how everything was in His hands and that I am powerless. I am weak. I am nothing, and He is all and He is worthy to be praised! But shortly thereafter, a voice whispered in my ear and told me to kneel in front of everyone in the waiting room and pray. Initially, I circumvented the whisper and ignored it. I wasn’t interested in kneeling to pray in front of 40 people in the middle of the day. I was too shy, too timid. But the voice started getting louder, and I was no longer able to sway it. I started delaying my praying, in the hopes that my name would be called for the Scan….but all these things were futile. I knew it had to happen! I had to pull myself together and do it, regardless of what anyone around me thought.
The Lord gave me boldness through this, and I was more encouraged to do it knowing that I was ‘humbling‘ myself and becoming more and more to His liking. I took pleasure in knowing I was ‘broken‘ and that I needed all the humility I can get for the Lord to even lend an ear to my minuscule plea. Ever since this journey began, I started hating pride, and wanted the Lord to help me get rid of any pride inside of me. This was a perfect exercise for me.
With these thoughts running through my mind, I became encouraged about it and did it. I prayed for about 15 minutes, and the Lord blessed my prayer. I told myself and the Lord that I would no longer give Him a hard time doing this next time, and that I would be more obedient, more compliant and more bold about my faith. As I said….the Lord is in the “changing hearts” business.
Going back to Ecclesiastes, the book can be summed up in:
Ecclesiastes 12:13
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.”
I find tremendous encouragement in Ecclesiastes because it reminds me that that the whole duty of man is to fear God and keep His commandments. King Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest man at the time, wrote this Book near the end of his life. He did not finish the race strong. Instead, he found himself very frustrated after doing lots of things, including indulging in the pleasures of this world. This is the last thing I want to do. How can the Lord be merciful to me when I don’t even plan to keep His commandments?
As my name was called for the Bone Scan, my prayers never ceased. During the whole process, I was asking the Lord to spare my arm and to give me Tumor-Free results! I felt the pain in the arm, but did my best to trust the Lord as He knows what’s best for me. This alleviated the process.
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A few hours later, we met with Dr. Lewis so that she can share the results with us….My arm and shoulder were Tumor-Free! Praise God!!
In the meanwhile, I went through a very tough night (the night before), I went through a humbling prayer experience, I had hunger for reading the Bible (Ecclesiastes), I increased my faith and my trust in the Lord, and, most importantly, I SAVORED and TASTED a glimpse of GOD’s GRACE!…It was the first time in my life that I experience His grace so powerfully and so beautifully! When I heard the results, I cried numerous times that day and was so thankful to the Lord! I was simply trying to contemplate about some of His Grace and trying to meditate on what it meant.
Bottom line, I was touched beyond words, and grew more in Love with the Lord after this experience. I wish each and every one of us can try to experience God’s grace. It is much needed and it changes hearts. The Lord is good!
