The past 8-9 months have been the most difficult times of our lives.  I know Danny has been sharing a bit about his journey through his blog, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your sincere love, support, care and concern for us.  It moves us very deeply to know how faithfully some of you have been praying for us, and how you have been lifting us up before the throne of Grace, on a regular basis.

Danny was scheduled to have surgery on October 19.  It was supposed to involve Reconstruction of the Pelvis, with grafts, and all that other stuff that he talks about in his previous posts…The week before that, he had to do all the tests again, (Pet Scan, CT Scan, MRI..) so that they can determine the extent of the surgery.

On October 12, we were scheduled to meet with the surgeon, Dr. Lewis, who was going to operate on Danny.  That day, after being in the waiting room for a while, a nurse called us in, and we all followed her into the consultation room where Dr. Lewis was going to meet with us.  We waited there for her (the surgeon) to show up.  The atmosphere in the room was heavy.  The last 2-3 months had been leading up to these very moments, and we were all very anxious.  We prayed out loud, in whispers, together, and separately.

As we waited, we kept hearing footsteps going back and forth in the hall.  Each time the footsteps got closer, our hearts would sink that the moment was finally here…and after a while, the last set of footsteps were indeed those of Dr. Lewis, making her way into our room.  Danny started to joke with her (typical Danny I guess, always finding humor, even in the most unlikely places J).  We all managed a few laughs, but it wasn’t long before it was back to serious mode.  Dr. Lewis asked Danny how he was feeling.  Danny told her some of the things he was going through, namely describing the ‘new’ pain he now felt in his lower back and left arm.  To that, she responded: ”the pain you’re having in these areas concerns me”…she rolled back the chair she was sitting in, got on the pc, and pulled up Danny’s files which reflected the latest test results.  There were few moments of silence as she looked over the files, with all our heads peeping over her shoulder to try to catch a glimpse of the scans.  She finally broke the silence: she said that his Cancer had indeed spread to his left pelvis, with a lesion near his back. In other words, she explained that he had now metastasized and because the disease had spread, she ruled out surgery as an option.

I don’t think I can adequately describe the feelings that swept over all of us in the next few moments…shock, disbelief and a sudden sense of panic, would be one way to put it.  While Dr. Lewis was talking, my knees grew immediately weak, very similarly to how I felt when I first heard the news about Danny being diagnosed with cancer on April 2^nd. It seemed to me like the room started spinning, and the next moments felt so surreal.  She kept talking, explaining her thoughts on the matter and her suggestions about what our next steps should be.  I felt exactly like Pink Floyd, in one of his songs: “You are only coming through in waves, your lips move, but I cant hear what you’re saying”…I heard nothing else, my stomach immediately tied into knots, and I quickly looked at Danny

then at my parents, feeling so sad and helpless.  Dr. Lewis left the room, and we all wept.  We all had prayed for many months that there would be no surgery, but to know the reason why there would be no surgery now, seemed too much to bear.

On our way back home, it seems strange to say that Danny was the strongest one among us, but he was.  Ill never forget what Danny told us as we had just walked into the house after that dreadful meeting.  With strength in his voice, a look of renewed hope in his eyes, and peace in his voice, he said: “Guys, this is when we need to have faith, this is exactly when we need to keep trusting the Lord and remain strong in Him”.  He was absolutely right…

In the midst of all the grief, it was such a blessing to hear these words of strength and encouragement from my little bro, and it brought me much joy.

Yes it is extremely difficult.  And yes there is a lot of pain, tears and moments of wondering.  But we know that we know that we know that God is very presently with us, in the middle of this fiery furnace, holding us, and especially Danny, close to His heart – until He stills the storm to a whisper.  And He is GOOD.

Love to you all.

- Joanne Haddad

Isaiah 43:1-3
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.